Well, the Mayans were wrong. You’re still here, and it’s time for you to prepare for a successful 2013 off-campus living experience. To avoid an apartment apocalypse, you’re going to need some essentials. You might not know exactly what you will need for the new year in your new place, so we have compiled a list of must-haves, starting with the fundamentals, and finishing with a few exciting add-ons.

1. A Couch
Don’t even bother moving into a place if you don’t have a couch, yet. Seriously. It’s more important than a bed. Your couch doesn’t need to be fancy. It doesn’t even need to seat that many people. It just needs to be there. It is the heart of the college household. Without it, you will be lost, because no one wants to hang out in a living room on lawn chairs.

Tip: Don’t get a “love seat.” They’re a waste of time, unless you’re an old lady.

2. Coffee table
Your couch is nothing without a coffee table. How good can your couch hang session be without somewhere to rest your drink? Try to get one that has storage underneath, that way you can keep some blankets, pillows, or other pass-out supplies in there.

Tip: Get some nice coffee table books to put on display. They always make for good conversation.

3. Iron and Ironing Board
There are ways to iron clothes without these two items, but it makes the chore even more painful than it already is. You’ve just moved into an off-campus apartment. Take advantage of the extra space and get yourself a nice, full-sized ironing set-up. #makemomproud

4. Flashlight
Two things are guaranteed: 1. You’re not a possum, because then you wouldn’t be reading this; 2. Your power will go out at some point. Be prepared to see in the dark by keeping at least one heavy-duty flashlight in your kitchen.

5. Plunger
Having a plunger in your bathroom is the best way to avoid a disgusting restroom catastrophe. Plungers may look ugly, but they’re worth the eyesore. Anything is better than an overflowing toilet. If you are concerned about your plunger’s appearance, get a plunger cover (a standard, plastic cover is ideal, since it will probably get dirty).  Holla target.com

6. Fire/CO2 Alarm
Your off-campus castle will be useless if it turns to toast. Protect your health and belongings by installing these, wherever necessary. Also, it’s against the law to go without them.  Yo yo homedepot.com

7. Gas-Powered Blender
This thing will change your life. It’s the monster truck of blenders, and you can use it anywhere: the kitchen, the backyard, the quad, the library (not recommended)—anywhere! The best part about this blender is that your party will be remembered for having great drinks and badass appliances. Do it kegerator.com

8. Nerf Weaponry
Trust us. Build an arsenal of Nerf guns in your home. Nothing gets the blood flowing in the morning like a styrofoam skirmish among housemates. Also, Nerf guns are surprisingly effective for flirtation purposes. Shooting your crush with a Nerf dart is the real-life equivalent of the Facebook “poke,” and it will yield better results.

9. Inflatable Punching Bag
Mad at your professor? Take it out on the bag. They probably sell one that looks like him, too. Also, it’s cheaper than therapy, and way more fun.

10. Gorilla Mask
Any scary mask will do, really. Nothing beats scaring the hell out of your roommate, and there will be plenty of opportunities in 2013.

Live it up #offcampus